Something personal

There’s a huge difference between having friends that are in the same country as you and having friends that are on the other side of the world. There’s also a difference between having friends that are from the same nation as you are and those who aren’t.  These differences might not really have such an effect on people but to someone like me, it’s a huge deal. Let’s elaborate.

I live on an island where there’s nearly no immigrants, mostly Puerto Rican. There’s no Azerbaijani living here other than my parents and a few elderly people. Puerto Ricans don’t understand that a girl shouldn’t be out after 12 or 1 at night, shouldn’t go out a lot, and “asking your parents” for permission simply isn’t an option because you already know the answer.  All you want is someone to go to the city with and relax and have a coffee, someone to sit down and enjoy the evening drinking tea with lemon. Someone who understands Azerbaijani cuisine and enjoys samovar tea. You want someone who can somehow understand your frustration when you talk about personal problems without having comments like “But they’re in Azerbaijan! Get over it!” – you can’t get over it, because even though your friend is in Azerbaijan and you’re farther away, you still care. You care a lot.

I know I’ve lived far from Azerbaijan for too long to even fit in there, but the feeling I got from when I was in Azerbaijan this summer was speechless. I was speechless of constant calls and text messaging, wondering how I was and what I’ll be doing later on that evening. I was speechless of having a place to go other than my own home like to my aunt’s or granddad’s place. I felt like the city I was born in was finally enjoying my presence or better yet, I was enjoying its presence.

You know it’s perfection when your best friend calls you and tells you she needs to talk to you and you have to meet her outside in somewhat minutes, other than “get on Skype!”  I felt like the people surrounding me that summer, could be the people I might love and care about for the rest of my life.

I know that most of the attention or love shown was because I haven’t seen them in a while and it’s all temporary, but seeing my friends in person is good enough for me than seeing them on Skype or seeing constant statuses and check-ins on the social sites.

I’m thankful for my Azerbaijani friends who live not only in Azerbaijan, but in other parts of the world too. You all make me somehow less lonely and less alone, even though it is hard. I’m not saying that I have no friends in Puerto Rico, but I am saying that I have no soul mates here.

Thanks for being my friends and family. Even though it doesn’t mean a lot, it means a ton to me. Might be too dramatized, but I do feel somehow happy with all of you in my life.