Jailbreak

You know, sometimes I compare myself to Cinderella. Not just myself but other Azerbaijani females. We all begin alone, learning how to cook and clean, how to talk and walk the right way, what to wear or what to buy. We become these well-trained puppies, and life accomplishments are our 'Good Girl!' and treats. Finishing school, getting into a university, caring about a career, hoping to fall in love and get married, leave the house and move on in your life.

I feel like we're robots and yet I'm the only one left out - some sort of a mutant. We're taught to respect our elders and always do as told, yet no one teaches us that a family is a two-way street where communication and respect are the musts. No one tells us that whenever you speak to input something, maybe an opinion - it's looked as a disrespectful gesture. It's a 'you either go my way or die way' kind of a game and in order to survive, you must learn to play.

Living in the West has definitely shown me the true meaning of a family. Yes, we do learn from our elders, keeping them as Royals in our minds yet the West has their family contributing to one another. Learning from one another and having a special kind of a communication. They hear one another and speak in order to grow. There's a friendship between the children and the parents in which I somehow wished I could have experienced at home.

I'm 20 currently, raised with Azerbaijani beliefs yet all I want is to come home one day and feel a friendship between my mother an I. I want to see freedom yet to the limit of respect. No one is saying to scratch a culture, all I want is an understanding environment. All I want is that at times, my emotions are taken into consideration. That when something is misunderstood, talking about it won't cause more tension. All I want is the ability to not want to move out.

I can't really blame this on anyone or anything, all I can do is improve myself and improve my control of emotions.

I guess I'm somewhat in need of a jailbreak.

I'm in need of that connection.

That Need.